Legally Wed by Cecil Wilde

Author:Cecil Wilde [Wilde, Cecil]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Liquid Silver Books
Published: 2015-01-24T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6

His mother’s death finally hit Blake after he got home, and the reality that he was never going to see her again nearly knocked him over. He sat heavily on the couch, making enough noise that Xander poked his head around the corner from the kitchen to check on him.

“Blake?”

“She’s gone,” he said, suddenly feeling as though there wasn’t enough air in the room. Xander looked at him as if he’d been expecting this.

“She’s not gone,” he said calmly. “Everything she was to you, every memory you have of her, you still have those things.”

“I wasn’t there,” Blake argued, not ready to be told that things were okay. He needed to be angry. He needed to cry, though he wasn’t sure Xander could handle him doing that.

“You couldn’t have known. You didn’t do anything wrong, Blake.” Xander moved to sit down on the coffee table in front of him. As much as he’d rather not have cried, Blake could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn’t going to be able to stop himself.

“Could you try to be less understanding?” He growled, aware of how ridiculous he sounded even as he said it. “I was a bad son and I left my own mother alone and I never called, I never e-mailed, I had no idea what was going on back home. And I should have! You talk to your sisters all the time and you take your mom to lunch for Mother’s Day. I didn’t even know my mom was dying until she died. I could have been there! I could have let her know that I didn’t hate her before she went. I let my mom die thinking I didn’t care about her.”

Blake had to stop to take a breath, and all he could do was sob. He hid his face, both wanting to preserve some dignity and not wanting to dump this on Xander. The next thing he knew, there was a cool hand on the back of his neck and it felt so, so good. He let himself keep crying, grateful for the small relief of the affectionate contact.

Part of him hated himself for taking comfort in Xander, but he needed it and he wasn’t a strong enough person to knock it back, no matter how little he deserved it. Xander was an adult, and capable of choosing who to show affection to. Even if Blake was a terrible choice, it was still Xander’s choice.

“She knew. She knew you loved her, even if you didn’t feel like you were showing it.”

That made Blake stop. He swallowed to keep himself from sobbing, turning that around in his head a few times. This was a bad time to deal with this, but he was weak and needy and too raw to stop himself. Anger he couldn’t figure out the origin of clouded his mind.

“Do you know I’m in love with you?” Blake shouted. He didn’t mean to scream at Xander, but modulating his voice was the last thing he was capable of at the moment.

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